@JessG828: Kid just asked "why is it called 'flipping the bird'? Why not turtle? Flipping the Turtle." I can't even answer that bc WHY NOT TURTLE?!
@MelKassel: Me: *staring into mirror*
Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary
*skeleton bartender appears and slides me a drink*
SB: $8.50, $8.50, $8.50
@Book_Krazy: Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat
@jazmasta: *whispers to businessman sleeping next to me on bus*
Sleep tight precious angel
@SteveSuckington: "Dad I think there's a monster in my room"
-Seriously? You're 33 years old. You live in a different state.
"Just put mom on the phone"
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