@juanadog: Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding.
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@Donna_McCoy: My coworkers have such cute nicknames for me, like "The one who eats all the donuts" and "Don't tell her there's pizza in the kitchen".
@UGotMeRight: The boss said I need to be more of a team player, so I rounded up all my coworkers & we kicked his ass.
@sad_tree: Good thing you put a swing in your birds cage he's probably on that thing like "MAN THIS IS WAY BETTER THAN FLYING"