@juanadog: Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
@emmatheist: Sometimes when my boyfriend makes a racist joke I am like Ugh why did I even imagine you?
@erica_rosie: One time I smashed my face into a keyboard and accidentally wrote the fifth Twilight book.
@wolfpupy: at the grampys, about to anounce who won the grampy award. open envelope. its grandpa!!! you did it congratulations