@InternetHippo: Pokémon Go has taught us that there's a disturbing number of dead bodies just laying around everywhere
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@shashaintl: I just owned you for three seconds. Possibly five if you're a slow reader. Up to ten if you read this again.
@Dirty_Naomi: I've decided to retire on Monday & live off my savings. Don't know what I will do on Tuesday though?
@truegritrumble: HER: You almost ready to go to my mothers? ME: *looking out window wondering if the jump will only break a leg & not kill me* Be right down.
@IAmKatieOrr: HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again.