@weinerdog4life: Pokemon is hard, it took me forever to get this rabbit in my tupperware bowl.
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@MrSandeepP: I love how girls say that they like a guy with a sense of humour and yet you'll never find a poster of Mr Bean on their wall.
@TrueTorontoGirl: [Boss stands at my desk] Can I see you in my office? [I stare curiously] You can see me here, right?
@charliedelta7: My 4yo: Dad, you're old, right? Me: I'm not that old. 4: You're not new. Me: Go to bed.