@Book_Krazy: *pokes sex life with a stick
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@litfirebird: Hiring manager: what would you say are your greatest weaknesses? Me: probably men with hairy knuckles. Oh, and a moist pot roast.
@WilliamAder: Shattner didn't go to Nimoy's funeral, and Obama's been on the phone all weekend with the Vulcan ambassador, trying to smooth things over.
@AbbyHasIssues: I like to do laundry in stages. For example, right now I’m in denial that I should be doing laundry.
@jonnysun: ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT