@Book_Krazy: *pokes sex life with a stick
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@NoTheOtherJohn: *doesnt stand for national anthem as protest against people who don't stand for national anthem*
@LurkAtHomeMom: 3: *throws plate in sink Me: but you barely ate! 3: yeah, I'm full...what are you eating? Me: the same thing you had 3: can I have a bite?
@mjkspeaks: [girlfriend finally texts back] ME: i’m so mad at you. HER: i’m naked come over. ME: i’m not really mad i was jk lol omw babe