@michaelianblack: Police inspectors on British mystery shows always seem to know the murder victim. Moral: do not befriend any British police inspectors.
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@1Happytwit: Shouting "Shotgun" will get you the front seat of a car or a heap of cash if you whisper it to a cashier.
@simoncholland: You realize kids in other countries make Air Jordan's and iPhones right? -Me responding poorly to my kid's homemade Father's Day gifts.
@_NinJar: I accidentally gave my newborn Muscle Milk instead of formula and now he's blasting Pantera and doing one arm pull-ups off his crib