@LifeAsBros: "Police! Open up!" "No, you're gonna yell at me"
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@krisv_723: <Morgue> Me:*gasping sob* That's her. I'd recognize that Boner Garage tattoo anywhere. Oh, Grandma.
@Reverend_Scott: Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.
@Robski_Boy: Sorry Siri, talking to machines is not for me. I still get tongue-tied at the drive-through.
@kellyoxford: "The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert" - my 9 yr old daughter