@LifeAsBros: "Police! Open up!" "No, you're gonna yell at me"
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@sageboggs: KANYE: I made Taylor Swift famous TRUMP: We should ban all Muslims KANYE: BILL COSBY INNOCENT TRUMP: THE POPE SUCKS KANYE: damn ur good
@DearAnyone: I think it's fun that witches chose brooms to fly on, but if I were them, I'd fly on a rifle. This way when you land you have a rifle.
@ColoradoCrow: Im going to change my name on Facebook to "Benefits", so that when you add me it will say, "You are now friends with benefits"
@panmidwest: I was going to pay the taxi driver with my leftovers from lunch but that wouldn't be fare to him