@WarrenHolstein: Police say Oscar Pistorius is a flight risk. How? Does he also have a pair of propeller feet?
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@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
@robdelaney: I #respectfully #trot when you let me cross the street in front of you. I salute the #power of the automobile.
@rolldiggity: Why crush your kid's imagination by telling them the Tooth Fairy "doesn't exist" when you can just have her leave a suicide note?
@Sassafrantz: Ghosts never write encouraging stuff on my mirror. It's always "KILL" or "MURDER" or "YOU'RE OUT OF NUTELLA"