@amishschool: Political analyst said the way to defeat ISIS is to cripple them financially so maybe we can sneak into Syria and build them a Whole Foods.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@alfageeek: When a dish comes out of the dishwasher still dirty, I just put it back in for another round, because I believe in second chances.
@DagFizz: My finances would be a lot better if ATMs would ask me what I need the money for and then look at me disapprovingly before giving me half.
@pisscop: HELLO FELLOW HUMAN TEENS I HEARD THE COOLEST PLACE FOR US TEENS TO HANG OUT IS Ｔｈｅ Ｃｏｌｏｓｓａｌ Ｐｉｌｌａｒ ｏｆ Ｗａｓｐ Ｅｇｇｓ LETS GO DO NOT BRING WEAPONS
@CroweJam: My wife's favorite position is the one where I lie very still wearing nothing but a toe tag and she starts dating again.