@amishschool: Political analyst said the way to defeat ISIS is to cripple them financially so maybe we can sneak into Syria and build them a Whole Foods.
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@skickwriter: Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.
@s_cLaN07: My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
@iwearaonesie: Marriage is one person sitting on the couch eating Cheetos while the other looks for the remote because she can't hear the TV