@amishschool: Political analyst said the way to defeat ISIS is to cripple them financially so maybe we can sneak into Syria and build them a Whole Foods.
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@WilliamRodgers: I'm not sure which is worse: People who force their religion on you... Or Anyone who's ever said "Oh it's because I'm a Virgo."
@eliserose5: I need some sugar. Not the stupid kind that gives you mono, but the good kind that gives you diabetes.
@JediGigi: Interviewer: Your resume only has "Mad" under "Skills" Me: Yeah boyee Interviewer: *tears up* You're just what we need. Welcome to Subway.