@bea_ker: Politics informs every aspect of my life. It affects how much money I have, how I spend it, and my work itself. Sorry, not politics. Pokemon
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@daemonic3: [1st date] "My birthday is on April 20th, so 4/20. Isn't that cool? When's yours?" Oh, umm *sweating* Sextember 69th
@WhatevaConc: Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown.
@Snarfernini: Quick! What's protocol for when he opens my car door for me and just shy of 7,000 Sonic straw wrappers fall out?
@bobvulfov: [standing at the hospital nursery window with other new parents] ME: this zoo is terrible