@chrissyteigen: poorly designed sticker of the day
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@zombieparrot: Driving and trying to read twitter, I just ran over a poodle. Unfortunately I drive a Yaris. My car got a dent and the poodle got annoyed.
@michamontaz: Christianity: One woman's lie about having an affair that got seriously out of hand.
@GetCougarized: I just realized the straps on the side of the mattress are for moving the mattress, and not for what I've been using them for all this time.