@QwertyJones3: Pork is awesome, but it's best when used as a verb.
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@TheTalkingPipe: They say it's the journey that matters and not the destination, which is good because I've no clue where I'm going.
@KeetPotato: [my 1st day as a getaway driver] bank robber: [jumps in car] "go go go go" me: [reaching under my seat] "how do you make the seat go back?"
@Bagyants: When a computer program says "Not Responding" I start texting it stuff like "Who are you with?" and "Just heard our song"
@Robert_Beau: Remember kids, if you’re driving in the snow and start skidding, turn into the direction of the cheapest car.