@Demented_Jokes: Post natal depression is a serious condition. I'm 38 years old and my mum still bursts into tears every time she sees me.
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@BillPelicanBros: Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike
@Roohani19: Apparently, "he's an army officer" isn't the correct response to "who's your daddy".
@TheCatWhisprer: STUNTMAN ON TV: don't try this at home ME [sitting on couch eating out of a 5 lb. bag of m&ms]: ok