@senderblock23: Pot bellied pigs are gateway pigs to cocaine bellied pigs.
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@NervousJr: "Ugh, you're so obsessed with me." Boss: "I just asked why you're twenty minutes late?"
@looktothepickle: Got a cut on my arm, someone on Facebook sent me healing vibes and PRESTO! two weeks later the cut fully healed this is not a joke people
@50ShadesGran: Suddenly she was on her back, clothes strewn everywhere and her wrists bound to her ankles. She always had trouble hanging out the washing.
@Miniwheats2012: Me: Wake up son! Son: Just 30 more minutes please Me: I'm borrowing your phone Son jumps of the bed: I'm awake!