@MariyaAlexander: Potato chips bragging about having less fat - I don't think you understand people who eat you.
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@EndhooS: "Morning guys" "HOLY SHIT IT'S SUPERMAN!" - Clark Kent's first day at work wearing contact lenses
@huntigula: fun prank: go observe the newborns at the hospital & if someone asks which is yours say "I haven't decided yet" while sobbing uncontrollably
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "Stay back! I'm an expert when it comes to karate!" *mugger approaches* Me: "Karate is a martial art developed on the Ryukyu Islands."