@MariyaAlexander: Potato chips bragging about having less fat - I don't think you understand people who eat you.
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@sheekaxo: Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard.
@Tylerosis: What if bananas turn black and bruised because they run their own fight club when we're not around?
@gojarbe: *puts ranch dressing on chicken* aww look at his little cowboy hat and boots, how cute is that