@Meet_Joe_Cool: Potty training my twins is like the Titanic's maiden voyage... In the beginning we are excited, in the end everyone is crying and all wet.
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@yoyoha: Went to the hospital to wish a pregnant lady giving birth a Happy Labor Day and she ripped my throat out :(
@NoBadHairDays2: A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes.
@NintenDom: My favourite part about playing video games is probably thwarting evil. You never get to thwart anything in real life. I like to thwart.