@novicefather: Pour your beer in a coffee cup because sometimes walking around with a beer during breakfast is frowned upon.
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@murrman5: *holding your xray up to the light and looking at it* when did you first notice your back hurting? "after the knife went in"
@ericsshadow: My wife spent two weeks deciding what color to paint the bathroom. I got a cat on my 9th birthday and named it Cat.
@SnizzleFrizzle: I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish. *I'm not even high.
@drunkNnaughty: I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be.