@jakob_huber: Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they looked.
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@HomeProbably: When someone's ignoring me I like to break into their house at night and steal all their shoes. We'll see how busy you are tomorrow.
@Kyle_Raney: How to open a letter: 1. Carefully remove seal 2. Slide your finger unde--okay the seal is back GET THAT SEAL OUT OF THE ROOM NO SEALS ALLO
@9GAG: Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."