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@DillDoes: *pours a bucket of water into the ocean*
You're free now
@SinfulShelly: I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet.
"I'm not a clown!" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest.
@zgbetty: Class action lawsuits are gangs for white people.
@o__0Dev: Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I'm done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better.
@rocket_roy: [Lizard Enterprises HQ]
Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here?
Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?