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@FrogAvalanche: *pours a shaker of salt into the ocean*
You're free now
@AnitaHelmet: Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers?
I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those.
Two. I have 2 kids.
@dave_cactus: TRUMP: Millions of Draculas are entering our country illegally from Transylvania. The security of our nation is a stake!
@kimtopher22: When you were young, Adele? You're 28.
Shut the hell up.
@Kyle_Lippert: The lady at the massage parlor asked if I wanted a happy ending, I said yes and then she proceeded to tell me the plot of Homeward Bound.
@michaelianblack: Ted Cruz thinks:
1. Presidents should pray every day
2. More prayers the better
3. Muslims pray 5x day
4. Ted Cruz wants a Muslim president.