@imadepoopstoday: Practicing parenthood on an egg only teaches kids that if you cook your baby it's delicious.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@brynnester: [First Date] Her: My last boyfriend dumped my by text message! Me: *trying to impress* when I dump you I'll definitely do it face to face
@shadonium: Kid: What's a man? Dad: A man is who loves unconditionally , cares about you and protects you. Kid: When i grow up, I'll be a man like mom
@BlackCatBettie: I'm really bad at portioning uncooked pasta...so if you and 110 of your friends wanna come over, dinner is ready.