@imadepoopstoday: Practicing parenthood on an egg only teaches kids that if you cook your baby it's delicious.
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@tonsmorecowbell: Somewhere in Africa, a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.
@papasuncle: When your bucket of KFC starts talking about the afterlife, that is some deep fried chicken.
@flashember: *Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *packs for wall 3 feet away *has an amazing time at wall