@iRowlf: Prank Idea: Toss some red laundry in the ocean and turn the great white sharks into the great pink sharks.
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@david8hughes: [at the gun store] Me: I'll take that gun & a box of ammo Clerk: that'll be $250 Me [with a gun & a box of ammo]: no
@kimtopher22: Getting my hair done Monday. Good news for the kids who scream "WITCH" as they pass by my house, bad news for the birds that live in it.
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: What kind of cake for your birthday? Wife: Just something with chocolate [later, me in the kitchen melting chocolate over a crab cake]