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@juliussharpe: For $100,000 I will come into your organization and evaluate whether the other consultants you're working with are idiots.
@FrogAvalanche: *live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes.
@MyPornKhan: Sometimes, I look at the kids of today and think, "Thank god I'll be dead by the time you grow up."