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@femaleproblems: Preach it Beyoncé
@mikeym00n: I USED MY WIFE'S VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO AND NOW I CAN'T STOP YELLING!
@jumpdashark: My friend called me from a private number last night so I just returned the favor by knocking on his door with a ski mask on.
@CulturedRuffian: 'No you can't have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.' -Moms
@badbanana: "Subpar accommodations. One star." - Oldest known TripAdvisor rating for Bethlehem.
@inmynewskin: I have a tattoo of a tiger shirt underneath my tiger shirt so when I take off my tiger shirt BOOM tiger shirt