@femaleproblems: Preach it Beyoncé
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@TommyWallace: Dr: I was going to ask if you were sexually active but- Me [wearing hot dog costume]: but what
@7_Cents: United States: There's 5280 feet in one mile. Rest of the World: What even is that? United States: Lol, we made it up.
@Sickayduh: When life tosses me a football, I'm the ref who's not looking and everyone laughs when I get booped in the face