@MaryKoCo: Pregnancy test that says, "Your cart has 1 item in it"
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@TheCiscoKidder: Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much.
@mrsmith196645: Nothing scares me more than when my husband answers me and I'm left wondering just how much he's actually been listening.
@murrman5: use this coupon for the pizza its expired whats the worst that could happen [calls wife 10min later] hello Im in something called pizza jail