@MaryKoCo: Pregnancy test that says, "Your cart has 1 item in it"
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@bwebster76: Do people who use handkerchiefs know they don't have to hang on to the things that come out of their nose?
@comer310: Cop: A ghost killed your family? Guy: Yes! Cop: Did u forward yesterday's spooky chain email to 5 ppl? Guy: No? Cop: Well there you go.