@sbellelauren: pregnancy tests should just read "pregnant" or "nope just fat"
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@KyleMcDowell86: It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine
@Rollmaninoz: *Caterpillar marriage therapy* Wife: he's not the man I married Husband flying around room: I'm the same on the inside Karen!!!
@sirivan: Everyone makes fun of Aquaman, but he’s got it all figured out. He spends all day chilling in the water. His life is one big pool party.