@TheMichaelRock: Pregnant white women over 30 always buy the biggest SUV around, because you never know when you'll give birth to half of a baseball team.
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@IamJackBoot: Me: Don't fall in love with me doll face. I'm no good for you; I'm bad news. Her: No problem. Here's your change. Pull up to the next window.
@MrEd_EVH: *runs into long lost friend* Him- I started out on the bottom now I'm a district MGR. what do you do? Me- I disappoint people
@Brianhopecomedy: I hope that the missing puzzle piece my 5 year old has been searching the house for has nothing to do with my 2 year old's burp.