@FilthyRichmond: Pregnant women go through a "nesting" phase where they make a tree fort out of twigs and parts of men they've killed.
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@ceejoyner: Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs.
@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.
@thatUPSdude: Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home
@TuffyNyC: Girls on Facebook call it, "The Walk of Shame." Girls on Twitter call it, "The Strut of Satisfaction"