@WienerToboggan: *prepares to cook vegetarian chili* *spills the beans* Whoa, I suppose you could call that.. *lowers shades with a spatula*.. Kidney failure
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] What were u doing last nite? I was killin my neighbour, Bert. Louder for the tape? [leans in] Fillin in paperwork. Busy guy.
@mjkspeaks: An important phone call is something that occurs when there's no better excuse to ignore someone.
@dafloydsta: [dropping kids off at school] ME: Ok, learn a lot today KIDS: But school doesn't start for another week ME: *speeding off* GOOD LUCK
@CalebTenenbaum: If a 99lb girl eats a 1lb plate of nachos is she technically 1% nachos? I think I'm on to something...