@fro_vo: presidents day is just a holiday created by "Big President" to get us to buy more presidents
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@freypalm: Cowboy: Wake up Lou—somethin's spookin' the horses. [outside] Horse: [shining flashlight in face] But this "Apple Store"… HAD NO APPLES.
@LoneWolfStories: It's like my fridge sends texts inviting all my friends over the moment I fill it up.
@BromanConsul: "BUT WE'RE DATING!" the blonde screams, "I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND." "You were" Hefner chuckles. "Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."