@fro_vo: presidents day is just a holiday created by "Big President" to get us to buy more presidents
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@freshestginger: HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell
@michaelianblack: As new head of Westboro Baptist Church, I'm expanding who God hates. To start: delivery guys, vegetarians, and people who do Sudoku.
@Teowulf: We get it - "Bacardi" rhymes with "party," "bottle" rhymes with "model," and "sex" rhymes with "text." You rappers can stop rapping now.
@ShittyComedian: Every time I see a person handing out flyers it blows my mind that some people actually get paid to distribute garbage to strangers.