@TheMichaelRock: Presidents Day was created by big corporations to get you to buy more presidents.
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@iamWillemDafoe: oooh pretty wing tattoos on your back, do they symbolize how you have no idea how big wings need to be to carry your weight
@NoogsCorner: Cigarette: Hey buddy. Me: I don't smoke anymore. Cigarette: But buddy. Me: NO. Cigarette: Buddy? Me: You do make a good point. Fine.
@XLToast: Help! Has anybody seen a little boy with a corndog? Stranger: He's over there! Oh thank God! [steals little boy's corndog and runs away]