@TylerLinkin: Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@sixfootcandy: I just saw a guy with leather pants get out of an IROC-Z. I wanted to say "Welcome to the future, traveler. You're going to love it here!"
@AaronFullerton: "You deleted your search history. Good move. But you forgot about something..." *cop gets all up in suspect's face* "Targeted. Banner. Ads."
@Lisa_Laughs_: I'm taking the soul train to Funky Town with my boogie shoes on, and the dish ran away with the goddamn spoon. This is really good weed.
@JPHaddadio: My dog's frightened to walk across shiny floors and won't eat dog food unless I heat it up. I have a feeling he'd be a flop out in nature.