@matt___nelson: *pretends to get an urgent text so I can turn around after I notice I'm walking in the wrong direction*
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@waydybee: Sometimes i think my life sucks. Then i look at the lives of others. Then it hits me. My life does suck!!
@seamussaid: I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks
@dafloydsta: GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT