@thenatewolf: *pretends to get electrocuted when I shake your dad's hand for the first time*
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@panmidwest: How selfish am I? Circus peanuts and black licorice are my favorite candies just so I never have to share.
@DjJazzyJeffro: A guy at the bar asked me to pass him the salt and pepper, so I punched him in the face and yelled, GET YOUR OWN DISTINGUISHED HAIR JERK!
@WildeThingy: Ultracrepidarianism is the habit of giving opinions & advice on matters outside one's knowledge or competence. Or, as I call it, tweeting.