@thenatewolf: *pretends to get electrocuted when I shake your dad's hand for the first time*
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@RealLucasNeff: [The Bachelor] Some of you will be getting roses tonight... [bee in the back] AW HELL YEAH
@ZackBornstein: Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!
@Sickayduh: Christian epileptics don't appreciate when you tell them "Jesus is the reason for the seizin"