@Brianhopecomedy: Pretty busy at the gym this morning. I'm 6th in line for a selfie.
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@murrman5: [on way to play charades with gf's family] I don't wanna go why I don't wanna look silly you won't *first thing I have to act out is pasta*
@GABBYdaAngSaya: Boss: I suspect one of you is dead [Everyone looks at me, except for Paul, who is not moving at all]
@coketruck76: Me: I'm into fitness Trainer: not again M: fitness whole pizza in my mouth T: you should go M: this isn't going to "workout" T: LEAVE NOW