@SlayerSays: Pretty certain the only way I'd ever be involved in gardening is if someone murdered me & planted me in their garden.
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@OzCricketFan81: Special shout out to the CIA, who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE the "ice bucket challenge" made it cool
@Kyle_Lippert: A smart Halloween costume would be an angel costume because if you died, you could just sneak your way into heaven & be like "I'm back yall"
@ConanOBrien: Great, yet another drive-in movie ruined by the neighbors saying I can't park on their lawn and watch movies through the living room window.
@Izianikapani: I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn't be able to stop until I'd added glasses and a moustache.