@tigersgoroooar: pretty cool how no matter what's going on in the world, a teenager in a Metallica shirt will always look the same no matter what year it is.
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@Bahstonlady: Babies make for the worst pets ever, I try to explain to all of the expectant mothers at the grocery store.
@celestinelea90: *takes earrings out* *takes bracelet off* *slips out of shoes* *tears off jeans, shirt, bra* *shaves head* Ok Doc you can weigh me now
@InternetHippo: groundhog: sorry guys, 6 more weeks of winter everyone (sunbathing in february): ok
@shadonium: What'sApp Me: Mom, what's for dinner? Mom : typing ... *gets married* *have kids* *gets old* *dies* *goes to hell* Mom: Fish, honey!