@TheNardvark: Pretty cool that Sarah Connor saved mankind by raw-dogging a total stranger claiming to be a time traveller at the height of the AIDS scare.
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@PanicRestroom: I didn't say you are fat, I just said that going out with you feels like going on a double date
@Love_bug1016: I can't do this. I think I'm dying. Why does your face look like a donut? ~ me 30 minutes into dieting
@mewritesgood: Hey Google, if I'm searching for "herpes symptoms" then no, no I'm not "feeling lucky."
@snack_lord: Spider Can, Spider Can, bunch of spiders in a can. Shake it up, spiders mad, open it, they bite your hand. Look out! I have a spider can