@LanaAllende: Pretty disappointed that Shakespeare's Hamlet didn't turn out to be the story of a delicious tiny ham.
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@mishakey: I can't help but notice that the Ninja Turtles never wash their hands before eating pizza in the sewer.
@Phook75: It sucks when I congratulate a woman on her pregnancy only to have him quickly correct me
@Playing_Dad: Boss: We're having a meeting at noon for future managers Me: Will there be lunch? Boss: No Me: I don't want to be a manager that bad
@ndiquote: [first date] her : where do you see yourself in next 10 years? me : at our daughter’s piano recital