@Cheeseboy22: Pretty disappointed to find out that "Toys for Tots" isn't a program where I trade my kids's toys for delicious tater tots.
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@OutOfLeftField_: I told someone my name and they said, "That's unusual. You don't hear that every day." Actually, I do.
@skickwriter: Six words that strike fear in the hearts of parents everywhere: You've been volunteered as a chaperone
@hunz74: My 10 year old: "If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first." Me: "What?"