@procharged94: Pretty disappointed to see that some of you lived through the night.
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@QwertyJones3: [Trying to impress a cute girl with glasses] HER: So what kind of car do you drive? ME: A bookmobile.
@FunnyMojoJojo: I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek...
@sad_tree: [crime show] DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been.. *Flintstones theme song plays* Murdered
@dlockw21: Cashier: Going snorkeling huh? Me: Yeah. Should be fun. Cashier: Watch out for sea snakes. Me: Hi, I'd like to return these.