@procharged94: Pretty disappointed to see that some of you lived through the night.
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@GingerHotDish: Cortana, where is the closest Taco Bell? There's a Weight Watchers meeting 1 mile away from you. *Note to self: Never call Siri Cortana*
@Eightinchgoat: I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer.
@Notawhiner: Everyone was texting her good morning sunshine, so I texted her "good morning solar eclipse" Yeah, don't do that.
@liv_thatsme: If you can't say anything nice, do what I do: say something that seems nice but later, they're like, "hey, that wasn't nice." Buy some time.