@longwall26: Pretty funny that turtles are always in uniform. It's like lighten up, turtles. The war is over.
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@causticbob: Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
@gabeserra: My 3 yr old puts himself in timeout whenever he doesn't want to do something we ask him to. Pretty sure he just beat the system.
@Ideal_Victoria: If I’m suddenly acting really nice to you, chances are it’s only because I want what you’re eating.
@TheTalkingPipe: I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me.