@petemandik: Pretty insulting when you wake up in a bathtub of ice and they left all your organs.
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@Kyle_Lippert: It's absurd how none of the chicks at this park are recognizing my swag *puts flip phone back in my fanny pack. Rollerblades away*
@Sean_Burgundy_: I hate when I meet a beautiful woman and have to leave bc someone who beat me in a rap battle is walking my way
@bridger_w: "I'm sorry, but are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" -Fun way to confuse a waiter who just suggested a menu item
@Raoul_Duke_71: Beth on Facebook "Can't believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.