@bourgeoisalien: pretty jealous of bears. they're like, "well, just ate my entire weight in salmon, now I'm gonna sleep for 6 months. smell ya later, hater"
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@Maxine12333: Friend gave me a 'stress' ball to squeeze when I'm tense. Did what I always do when nervous, I ate it.
@Home_Halfway: ME: Is this Babies R Us CASHIER: Yes ME: No babies work here C: I know ME: It should be called Babies Were US C: ... ME: Get me your manager
@FBSisnothere: "Ladies, calm down. Girlfriend, wife, whatever. The important thing is that between the 2 of you, you brought enough to post my bail"