@bourgeoisalien: pretty jealous of bears. they're like, "well, just ate my entire weight in salmon, now I'm gonna sleep for 6 months. smell ya later, hater"
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@joeyellis: ENTER PASSWORD. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. WRONG. RESET PASSWORD. NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD. sets fire to computer
@Reverend_Scott: [funeral] He looks so natural. Ya, but he looks a little stiff. *raises from the dead* "That's what... *gargle* ...she said." *dies again*
@therepoguy: My dog really needs to learn how to drive a stick because what good is fetching one bottle of vodka.
@WineMummy: The scene from The Exorcist where she's tied to the bed cursing like a sailor, but it's me when getting a Brazilian.