@BookishBunny: Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good.
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@bourgeoisalien: Fun Adult Game: put your keys down. walk out of room. now try and remember where your keys are
@LOUD_Thoughts_: I have a condition that I eat when I can't sleep. Its called Insom-nom-nom-nomnia.
@SirEviscerate: ME: Here's your Mickey Mouse pancake HER: This isn't Mickey Mouse shaped ME: I suppose you'd think banana pancakes should be banana shaped
@ErrenMichaels: [First person to ride a horse] 'I'm going to sit on that thing and I don't care how angry it gets.'