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@KaptainKoRnie: Pretty please?
@kingofcreame: what did president abe lincoln call his journal?
...his lincoln logs
@5hael: NICE TO MEAT YOU, I scream as I throw slices of salami at strangers
@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified!
Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
@weinerdog4life: Tie a sweater around your waist so you can pretend a short ghost is hugging you.
@ohpeetie: [ Boyfriend walks into the room ]
Well, well, well....if it isn't the boy who tried to break up with me in a dream last night.