@KaptainKoRnie: Pretty please?
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@DaddyJew: Well thank you auto correct for changing "I wish you were here" to "I wish you were her". I didn't wanna have sex anyways.
@pattonoswalt: Hey Ben Carson, at this point in your craziness? Just say you're Iron Man. What could it hurt?
@EddieMcSugarnut: I'm just a naked guy in an elm tree noticing the creepy way you stare at me through your bathroom window.