@The_MartiniGirl: Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor.
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@NicestHippo: *points to refrigerator* That makes things cold *points to stove* That makes things hot *points to self* That makes things awkward
@HousewifeOfHell: Fluffy towels that don't absorb anything but just move water around on your body are the devil's handiwork.
@LMHPhotog: Next time you’re swallowed by a whale, stand up through the blowhole like it’s a sunroof on a limo. Throw your arms up. Have some fun!