@The_MartiniGirl: Pretty sure I just did some classical ballet move as I got off the computer chair to get to the kitchen and saw a spider on my floor.
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@MsSugar_Kisses: I need to chat with my coworker's husband.. If he was bangin' her properly, we wouldn't have to deal with her bad attitude..
@DomBorrett: Record breaking, visionary director Steven Spielberg: 'Wanna play a dull, killed off screen character?' Samuel L Jackson: 'Sure'
@WienerToboggan: "honey, I can't wait to do missionary later!" *Gets excited* *Wife leaves for third world country-helps many*
@ohen39: doctor: [handing me my new born baby] I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it me: [handing baby back to him] bring me the one my wife made