@OldUncleDaveO: Pretty sure I just heard a grown man wrestle a bear in a bathroom stall at Chipotle.
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@Cheeseboy22: We reach out to meet each other half way, filling the vast void between us. We yearn to become as one." - A poem by my eyebrows
@Tmoney68: Me: I can't get this star on top of the Christmas tree without a ladder, without dumping it over & ruining it. Whiskey: Yes you can.
@notalogin: You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets.
@MikeDrucker: 2017: It can’t get worse than this DAY ONE, 2018: A YouTube star filmed a dead body for entertainment