@OldUncleDaveO: Pretty sure I just heard a grown man wrestle a bear in a bathroom stall at Chipotle.
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@jake_likes_naps: HER: [she puts her hand down my pants] mm what do we have in here ME: [sweatin because thats where I keep my chicken mcnugget stash] nothin
@AudreyPorne: him: I wish you'd talk more during sex. me: Okay. [during sex] me: cats have 32 muscles in each ear him: please don't speak