@AngelaEhh: Pretty sure I just kept a closer eye on the pizza tracker than I did my infants.
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@moooooog35: Me: What do you want for breakfast? Kids: EGGS! BACON! WAFFLES! CHOCOLATE CHIP PANCAKES! Me: Let me rephrase. Who wants toast?
@cdncyn: I changed my name in my daughters phone to God.... I texted her and said "I saw that" You should of seen her face Priceless
@weenbeans: (child accidentally being born in butcher shop) Shirtless mother: what should we name him? Father: um..*looks around room* a..bra...ham
@SondraDeeMe: If we got paid for how many tweets we put out, some of you would be millionaires in mansions. I'd be living in Government Assisted Housing.