@DannyZuker: Pretty sure I know what my wife's getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
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@ch000ch: this guy with binoculars has been watching me watch him with binoculars and i don't know who's winning
@SortaBad: I've been informed by TSA that my man-bun is not allowed on the plane. They fear a riot from horny women clamoring to sit next to me