@DannyZuker: Pretty sure I know what my wife's getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
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@DropsNoPanties: Barista: Did you hear Netflix is raising its price $2 a month? Me: Ridiculous! I won't pay it! B: here's your coffee. $12.32 M: thank you
@freshestginger: *Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book! *Kids boo* *Someone in the crowd yells "NERD"*